I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
