I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
