they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
