before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
