I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
My pussy is not your playground.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize