my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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