if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
