Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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