Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
40s are totally the cure
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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