Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
