tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
