It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
