No stitches, just platelets and will power
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
