Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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