Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
