Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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