i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
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