Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
