it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
love makes seman taste better
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Everyone says I win the strip club
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Randomize