Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
