okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I have aggressive nipples.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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