So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
