U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
