I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize
