It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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