We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
