I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
