I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
When are your genitals available?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
