My first STD was from a foam party
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
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