Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
