Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
