Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
