is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
