Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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