My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
