I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
