theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Drake has all the answers
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
