can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
