When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Randomize
