i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
