would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Dignity is for republicans.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
