I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
