So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
