at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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