he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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