She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
