Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
