I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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