the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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