): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
