I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Randomize
