420 ftw
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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