i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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