apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
