You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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