FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Randomize
