I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I just forgot I was standing up.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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