I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
