You can't motorboat a personality
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
