I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
