why didn't you poke me back
i permit you to call me
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
